Embracing Change: My Journey Through a Major Life Transition

Big life transitions often bring a mix of emotions: excitement, uncertainty, and sometimes, unexpected grief. For me, this was especially true during a whirlwind period of change that marked the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

If you read my previous blog post about cultivating community, you know I was in graduate school, pursuing my Master’s degree. I’m thrilled to share that I successfully defended my thesis and had my research paper published in a scientific journal! This was a monumental milestone—something I had envisioned and worked toward for years. Through literal blood, sweat, and tears, I made it happen.

The “Big Girl Job”

After achieving this long-awaited goal, my next focus was landing the “big girl” job—a permanent position with benefits that would provide financial stability. Then, on July 4th, I got the news I’d been waiting for: I landed a job! I excitedly accepted and was told I’d start on August 5th—just one month away. At the time, I was living in Rhode Island, and the new position was in Connecticut. It also felt like the perfect time to finally move in with my long-distance boyfriend, which meant some big life changes were on the horizon.

Two weeks before my start date, we found an apartment, and just five days before my first day of work, we moved in. It was a whirlwind, to say the least. I remember sitting on our balcony, taking in the new city view, and saying to my boyfriend, “Wow, I feel like I’m living a completely different life.” He simply replied, “You are.”

The "new city view"

And he was right. I was in a new state, starting a brand-new job, and living with my boyfriend for the first time. Everything was fresh and exciting, but the immense amount of change left me spinning. My usual spiritual self-care practices—meditating, journaling, doing yoga—started to slip through the cracks. I was maintaining my workout routines, but, because I wasn’t allowing my body to rest, I started to get sick. I got a terrible cold in the middle of summer and debilitating migraines.

Missing My Old Yoga Community

One of the hardest parts of this transition was leaving behind my yoga community in RI. Telling my students and fellow teachers that I was moving was bittersweet. I assured them I’d post virtual classes from my new apartment and host a yoga retreat in a few months, but neither of those plans came to fruition. My retreat fell by the wayside as I navigated the chaos of moving and starting a new job. I felt guilty and ashamed for not following through, and the truth was, I was completely drained.

I tried exploring local yoga studios in my new area, hoping to recreate the sense of community I had in RI. But none of them felt quite the same. Instead of feeling welcomed, I felt like an outsider, longing for the warmth of my previous communities.

Grieving the Past While Embracing Growth

In an unexpected twist, I reconnected with an old friend from high school who was experiencing the same thing- grief over leaving a beloved yoga community. Our conversation showed me that grief doesn’t just come from loss—it can also stem from growth and change. It reminded me of the importance of allowing myself to mourn the person I used to be and the community I left behind, while also embracing gratitude for the experiences and connections that shaped me.

Six Things I Wish I Knew Before My Life Transition

Looking back, I wish I had been kinder to myself and had given myself more time to adjust. Here are six takeaways that I hope will help you as you navigate your own transitions:

1. Give Yourself Time to Adjust

When you finally manifest something major in your life, know that it will be uncomfortable at first. You are stepping into uncharted territory. It can take 3 months, 6 months, or even a year to truly adjust. You will go through periods of extreme highs of excitement, and lows of longing for your old life. Allow yourself to flow with the changes rather than resist them.

2. Be Gentle with Yourself

You will not be the same person, or live the same life you did before this major change. Any major life change is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Naturally, your normal routines will fall to the wayside. If you’re eating takeout almost every day, or you’re not getting a good night’s sleep, or letting your workout routine slip through the cracks, it is okay. Give yourself grace. You will fall into a new routine before you know it.

3. Prioritize Rest

You might feel the urge to hit the ground running, but balancing action with rest is essential. Rest is one of the most important gifts you can give to your body. Save your weekends for relaxation. Cancel plans if you’re exhausted. Don’t worry about all of the unpacking, cleaning, and organizing you have to do. Give yourself a moment to check in with yourself. Take a bath, light a candle, meditate, do breathwork, read, journal, watch TV. Give your nervous system a break. If you don’t, your body might force you to slow down (like mine did).

4. Allow Yourself to Grieve Your Past Life

Even if this new life promises happiness and growth, it’s okay to miss the old version of yourself. You might be surprised to find that, even after a month of thriving in this new life, a sudden wave of immense grief for the past can still wash over you. Let yourself to process these emotions- cry it out, journal, workout, take a walk, call a friend or loved one. Honor your feelings instead of pushing them away.

5. Find Gratitude

Instead of looking back at your previous life as a loss, find gratitude. Appreciate the past life experiences, places, and people that were in it. They shaped you into the grown and evolved person you are now, that achieved this new life up-leveling.

6. Explore Your New World

Wherever this new life transition has brought you, chances are you will have to go outside your comfort zone. Explore your new neighborhood, or the area around your new job. Whether it’s checking out a new yoga studio, gym, dog park, coffeeshop, approach it with a sense of excitement! I was nervous to try a new workout studio by myself, but once I did, I was welcomed with kindness, formed friendships, and felt a sense of belonging. It might not happen right away, but don’t give up the search to find your new community and routine. We are meant to step out of our comfort zone and grow.

Trust the Process

Six months after moving, I finally walked into a yoga studio that felt a little more like home. Although it took longer than I anticipated, I’m slowly starting to cultivate my own community again.

If you’re navigating a big life transition, trust that you are supported—even when it feels uncertain. Growth can be uncomfortable, but it also brings new opportunities, connections, and versions of yourself you have yet to meet. Give yourself patience, grace, and time. The unknown may feel daunting now, but one day, you’ll look around and realize—you’ve built a life that feels like home again.

With love,

Nicole